An Inmate Who Became a Wave

(Russian original by Alexander Vvedensky, 1929)

Alas there was a tragic chair

On top of which there was a lair

And on the chair an inmate grieved

Facing away from those who lived

He saw the rivers and the woods

Where craggy foxes looked for foods

Where chickens swam toward the bait

A wreath a bell a promenade

The inmate wiggled his mustache

And dreamed of his abandoned stash

Of trifles and of salty snacks

Of golden frills and fluffy rugs

He was so ill so sad so sick

Look at the running breathless moon

Look at the lying shameless freak

Washing his hives in the lagoon

Alas he was so raving sick

Alas he was a wavy streak

A town hall was in his sight

A meeting there buzzed all night

There stood a creature on the stage

And shook its pointless arms in rage

He is the ibis of the world

The people whispered with a nod

He is a lonely arthropod

He is a haycock, he’s a god

In fact a meager ant was he
He crawled beneath a big old tree
All day he toddled in the grass
In search for secret little bugs

Alas he was so mighty ill

Of flesh and bones and not of steel

He grabbed a skinny pyramid

He worshiped Queen Semiramide

He said I’m poor and I’m pale

I’m like a rodent starved and stale

Not much is left inside my gut

A liver or two a withered heart

The doctor said you’re wrong I fear

Your nasty patience is a smear

A slur against the forest’s greens

An insult to the plants and trees

I’d like to give this to the world

The little poem that I wrote

“What’s all the fuss about green?

What else could plants and trees have been?

The clouds swim in marinade

The roosters dream in fairy land”

Your constant lectures are so lame

This talk of spiders honor fame

Just show me a half-empty glass

Inside of which a bulldog runs

He runs and growls woof-woof-woof

My dying lips will speak the truth

Just like an infant I am ill

I’m wearing thousands of scarves

Prescribe me please a healing pill

Thus speaks the inmate as he laughs

He sneezes south and sneezes north

The doctor is like a silent sword

He’s curled in the corner like a twig

The army cutlass starts to speak

No more of this medical talk

My ears are about to pop

My tongue is sore and my nose is broken

My Adam’s apple is dripping like water

My leg is wiggling like an eel

My head all stings inside I feel

So many tiny needles bees

And thorns that rip my swollen knees

But here is an amazing thing

He now looks more like a pig

All day he’s lying on the couch

Thinks it’s a cotton-candy lounge

Imagining some dreamy fairies

Titian and Danae and Orpheus

Sparrows in-laws orangutans

Play an unseemly game of cards

But all of this was an illusion

A dream he dreamt in his delusion

It never drank the mighty potion

The world is suddenly in motion

The glass that lay on railroad tracks

Now simply nods along and cracks

The cow once ox’s pretty spouse

Is now an old and drunken louse

She gazes dimly at her glass

Inside of which the dog still runs

The star that sparkled in the sludge

Now crowns a morbid merchant’s bulge

All former things are in the past

Almighty Lord deliver us

Thus battles raged and daggers slashed

Thus wounded soldiers moaned and gnashed

Chubby and skinny short and tall

The shiny sword has pierced them all

Commanders gathered by their side

And marveled what a genocide

The gastric juices came and passed

Quickly dissolving all the grass

What if a savage tribesman roams

What if a Spanish marksman groans

What if a baby starts to weep

What if a birdie starts to tweet

You are already dead I think

You’re not unlike a bathroom sink

The doctor spoke and washed his neck

Just like a vulture dressed in black

His fuzz was thick and very long

His angst was bleak and very strong

Alas the zoo contained a chair

Alas alas there was a lair

There gathered horsemen for a rest

There fretted serpents with a vex

They held an elegant discourse

Do not present him with a horse

Because alas he is a corpse

Don't gather plates and bring them by

Don’t call him names and make him cry

Looking at chairs and lairs ahead

He danced his dance and went to bed

Again that nightmare with a chair

Why is that?